What I see when I edit.

If you follow me on Twitter you’ve probably noticed that every night (er, my time) I’ve been re-watching Sailor Moon Super and live-commentating every episode I feel like watching. Well, imagine my ~surprise~ when last night we got an episode where the victim was an author and the monster-of-the-day sent after him was supposed to be…an editor.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.

I am now a huge fan of Uhenshuu (the name of the monster, which essentially means the noun version of “editing”), and she’s quite possibly my favorite monster-of-the-day in the history of Sailor Moon. And since there’s over 150 of them (gotta catch ’em all amirite) that kinda says something. She’s pretty much everything a nightmare editor is supposed to be, all the way down to her attacks. I would explain, but here! Have Youtube clips instead! (No subs so I’ve translated what she’s saying down below.)

@ 0:17 : Are you obeying your deadlines?!

@ 0:00 : My ultimate attack, WHITE MANUSCRIPT HELL!
@ 0:12 : Next is PHOTOCOMPOSITION!
@ 0:19 : Heh, heh. Cut and paste…snip, snip!
@ 0:25 : Hey, wait…wait a minute! What are you planning?!
@ 0:28 : Make sure you get a good clipping of her!
@ 0:30 : Hey now!

@ : 0:10 : Even if it’s a sudden storm I’m okay!
@ : 0:16 : G pen, round pen, and kabra pen!
@ : 0:25 : MANUSCRIPT HELL!!
@ : 0:37 : Sudden strength before a deadline!
@ : 0:41 : Borderline, safe!

I’m thinking that I could really use somebody like Uhenshuu in my life, man. You know, that editor in glasses and questionable fashion that yells things like “MANUSCRIPT HELL! HOW DOES IT FEEL?!” while throwing giant pens at me and making me cry until I finish my novel. But this could only work if I have Sailor Venus on hand to call her off whenever I want. She’s like the IRL version of Write or Die!

Seriously, though, the whole time I was watching this I kept thinking about how “real” it is, when you consider her as a metaphor of writers and editors combined – we pretty much say all those things in our heads as it is. “WHITE MANUSCRIPT HELL!” is so hilarious because we’ve all been there yo. Staring at that white space going “WHY ISN’T THERE A NOVEL HERE OMG” and, if you have an editor/agent/publisher, hoping that they don’t call up and ask you if you’re “OBEYING YOUR DEADLINES!”

Then again you might get the “SUDDEN STRENGTH BEFORE A DEADLINE” and be “BORDERLINE, SAFE!”

You can watch the whole episode (with subtitles) here!

I’m done, indeed. Bye!

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon is copyright to Naoko Takeuchi, Kodansha, Toei, and everyone else who well, owns copyright to it. No infringement intended. Take it up with Youtube. Screencaps from soul-hunter.org